i
son says the fetus of a son
you are nothing but your mother’s son
because countless prayers have poured into you
ii
son says the forty-year-old mother
as the baby slid out from her womb covered
in the blood of her ancestors both outside
and inside
iii
son says the buddha
son says the sky
his mother honors both but her son
was made of either
iv
son says his four-month-old mother
wrapped around her mother’s arms inside
a bomb bunker outside the blood was shedding from dying peasants
she smelled it in the air thinking how much it resembled her menstrual blood
before her baby’s carriage while assuming her child
was warm inside despite the sources of heat were indistinguishable
v
no blood shed inside the bunker the bunker is a womb
vi
son says the riot
son says the war
son says the grandma
son says everyone’s buddha
says everyone’s sky
vii
you have made it here today
viii
son, says the sun in his mother’s
favorite folk song tình cha ấm áp như vầng thái dương
the father’s love is as warm as the sun
xix
son, says the twenty-year-old son
even the sun shrinks our shadows down at its peak —
x
thus it’s no one’s sun thus there’s no one’s sky
but the land has always been ours
it’s called nationalism
xi
son says the father not “con trai” but
the confucius’s manners of a man —
xii
son, says the father
there is a disease that is worse than
your great grandfather’s friend’s agent orange
you don’t wanna be caught up in it
it’s called homosexuality
xiii
son says the son
that disease is in your blood ever since
whose blood is it?
is it the peasants’?
is it his mother’s?
is it his mother’s mother’s?
is it his mother’s mother’s mother’s?
is it his father’s? his father’s father’s?
is it his land’s?
whose blood is it?!
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
xiv
son says the mother’s strangle she never committed
whenever the son went spoiled she wished she had strangled
him when he was still an infant
xv
did her mother want to strangle her when she went spoiled as an infant?
did her mother’s mother’s want to strangle her when she went spoiled as an infant?
did her mother’s mother’s mother’s want to strangle her when she went spoiled as an infant
would they have literally strangled their daughter if she was literally spoiled as an infant?
xvi
son says the sky
son says the buddha
xvii
your mother’s prayers were only half-way through you
xviii
son says the son
stunned by the smell of too many bloods —
please pardon the mother
mother says the son
please pardon the son
xix
son says the sixty-year-old mother
while still praying for a shadow that looks like him
xx
son says the son
you are nothing but your mother’s son and never enough
(This poem originally appeared on SOFTBLOW Review, Issue May, 2021)
lighthouse 